It’s ok Jess…

An honours student, Michaela is doing a circadian rhythm study on rats. This girl is also my Lab mate. The nature of her project will therefore involves tissue collection at odd hours, including at 7.45pm, and 1.30 am etc. so she asked around if anyone is free to help her with the tissue collection. ( trust me, this is something that you could never do alone). Immediately when her email arrived in my outlook, I volunteered to help out during the 1.30 am sessions. I know, it’s in the midnight but I live the nearest to the university and travelling to the uni at that hour is not a problem to me..( especially if you have to go back and then return to work the next morning)… It never occurs to me that helping the poor honours student at that hour might pose a problem at all. but Brendan’s research assistant was reluctant to let me help. her intention was good.. because I am a PhD student myself, and the project that I am helping does not have anything to do with my work, so I will be literally “wasting my precious PhD time” when I help her.

Shocking, really… I told Jess, that “It’s ok Jess, you don’t have to come during this early morning sessions because I live nearby.. I can help, I want to help.” But Intan, you also have your own lab work to do in the morning and we don’t want to burden you…” “ thanks for the thought Jess, but helping Michaela for at the most 2 hours is not really a burden to me at all. today I help her, tomorrow, when I need help, someone will help me”… “ yes, I know what goes around comes around, but when you are doing your collection, Michaela won’t be around to help you at all, is it worth it for you to help her now when there is a research assistant being paid to do the work like me?” “huh? it never occurs to me that Michaela will help me, I would’ve thought that once she finishes her honours, she’ll be long gone, which is no where near my collection date… But God sees me doing a good deed voluntarily to a friend today, tomorrow, he’ll send help when I least expect it,” Jess and my co-supervisor Pete was speechless. I don’t know what they were thinking, but they were silent for a good 30 seconds before saying “ thanks, Intan… “ and I got to help Michaela for the 1.30 am sessions, no hurdle.

Now, what did I learn from the incident? Although the concept of “what goes around comes around” is pretty familiar in many religions across various cultures, but the understanding of this beautiful ad-din is still very vague in many.  people don’t help anybody if they do not gain from it either directly (e.g getting a payment) or indirectly (e.g, getting the person being helped to help back in return) It feels good that I managed to teach 2 good friends about the beauty of Islamic concept of “when i help someone today, tomorrow Allah’ll help me” I can’t help but to feel even more scared to ask other people for help because if there is no worldly gain for them, their act will be insincere…and we know well enough what an insincere act will end up with….. Nauzubillah.

Fetus in fetu

Today I was preparing for my postgraduate presentation in July. All the materials were ready but I just need pictures. yes of course I draw my own pictures, you know, to prevent plagiarism..and that is precisely why I bought this lovely, lovely, Toshiba M200 tablet PC as my drawing tablet..it is now having Window Seven as its Os..terrific, I’ll tell you.

But hey, I am not going to gloat over an old laptop. I was finding it hard to draw “survival.” any idea how? so as usual, we, PhD students will google. there are little drawings on the web that depict my ideal interpretation of survival, to capture the essence of my scientific presentation, except one.

What is this? you might ask.That is my friend, what I call a fetus in fetu..an extremely rare medical condition which can literally be described as having an unknown twin brother or sister existing in ones body for years and years. This trapped twin lived by leeching from the other twin’s major blood vessel. Emphasis on the word “lived” there which means that it was "alive" until either the host dies or when it gets removed from the host body. According to the paper that I found, a 27-year-old man was complaining of dysphagia (difficulty to swallow) which was progressive in nature, the surgeons believed that this boy might be suffering from a retroperitoneal tumour, decided to open him up (pardon me for the expression). what appeared to be an encapsulated “tumour” actually contained this structure inside it.

This is the exact description of fetus in fetu in the paper (journal, not newspaper ok =^.^=):

Gross examination of the sac showed a thin walled membrane filled with sebaceous material and hair. Contained within that sac was a structure with fetal-like features, 14 cm long, weighing 754 g covered with thick wrinkled skin and appendages. The fetal-like structure had a cranium with an eye socket, mandible and four molar teeth. There were superior limb buds consisting of a right upper limb and a left digit with pointed nails.

The lower part contained two lower limb buds with foot-like projections with five buds and long pointed nails. Histologic sections of the cyst wall showed fibrocollagenous tissue with chronic inflammation. Histologic sections of the specimen showed evidence of a cranium, retinal tissue within an eye socket, mandible with 4 teeth, an axial skeleton with cervical vertebrae and long bones and respiratory buds. Specimen radiography confirmed the presence of a rudimentary spinal column with vertebra and a bony pelvis. Each lower limb bud had a primitive femur, tibia, foot and phalanges. Genetic studies included chromosome analysis performed on fibroblasts cultured from the fetus and on leukocytes from the patient. Both subjects had a normal male karyotype (46, XY). There was no evidence of mosaicism or any structural or numerical abnormalities. Of interest was the absence of inversions in chromosome 12p frequently seen in patients with teratoma.
^{copied and pasted from :}

Case report

Dysphagia caused by a fetus-in-fetu in a 27-year-old man

Malek G. Massad, MD^a, Lawrence Kong, MD^a, Enrico Benedetti, MD^a, Daniel Resnick, MD^a, Luna Ghosh, MD^b, Alexander S. Geha, MD^a, Herand Abcarian, MD^a
a Department of Surgery, The University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, USA
^b Department of Pathology, The University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, USA
It’s a miracle that something like this could happen. This is the very exact definition of survival (but I cannot possibly put that picture up in my presentation, can I?) =^.^=. In fact, If someone is destined to live, he will live even in the most unlikely, most impossible condition as such. I know I am odd because I am deeply intrigued by this condition. to me, God is showing to us that He can create the most beautiful most magnificent things in this world but he can also do this.
a pessimistic atheist Professor once ask, “is God good, boy?” “ yes,” the student answered. “then why are there still be sufferings, war and death?” The student had no answer… If only I was there to help the boy answer, “ Look professor, God is good, therefore there is always war against discrimination, hatred and revenge, God is good professor and therefore there will always be worldly sufferings in return of an eternal happiness, and God is good,professor,  therefore there will always be death so that someone else can be born. because without war, how do you appreciate peace? without suffering how would we interpret joy and without death how would we live?”
Major deviation from my original fetus in fetu topic by related in so many ways nonetheless..
My last question for you to ponder my beautiful, smart, loving friends, do you think this fetus in fetu, giving the circumstances that ‘it” was alive, would it has any soul?
wassalam.
Ana

Kalau lah Beta hidup zaman merong maha wangsa...kui kui kui

Walaupun entry ini mungkin sungguh crazy unrelated to my previous entry tp Ana nak letak jugak. It's Monday and as usual beta akan bermesyuarat secara rasmi dengan penasihat-penasihat kanan beta (supervisors la tue kan). Kesemua kami pun adalah ilmuan dari golongan bangsawan, maka sudah semestinya berlaku pertemuan minda antara kami bertiga.

" Tuanku Seri Intan Pata Negara (ecewah), moleklah kiranya Tuanku bentangkan hasil pengkajian Tuanku setakat ini," Kata Gabenor British, (zaman tu manader Australia kan) Dato' Brendan sambil di iyakan oleh sahabatnya Resident Mark. Tajam anak mata beta menenung 2 penasihat kanan ini..huh, terasa malas untuk beta bertitah hari ini memandangkan pengkajian yang dirancangkan belum bisa untuk dimulakan, masakan pula untuk membuahkan hasil..mana mungkin, para penasihat sekalian, untuk beta mendapat result andaikan masa yang tuan2 berikan hanya 4 hari, bukan 4 purnama!

Namun beta gagahkan jua untuk berbicara, "Seperti yang tuan Gavernor dan tuan Resident berdua ketahui, bukankah research animal baru saja kita terima barang 3-4 hari yang lepas? maka sudah tentulah beta perlu menunggu sehingga tamat 7 hari tempoh penyesuaian sebelum pengkajian bisa dimulakan." (dalam hati membebel, cepat gillers org2 omputeh nie nak mintak result, ingat aku nie robot ke?) 

" owh yea, maafkan kami tuanku.." (hamboi, sekarang pakai "kami" yea, takder patik2 lagi  bila cakap ngan aku?). Nah, apakah permasalahan lain yang patut kita bincangkan?" sambung gavernor tersebut. " Tuan gavernor, sudahkan tuan menyemak abstract yang telah beta hantar barang seminggu nan lalu? esok merupakan dateline untuk penyerahan abstract tersebut," titah beta, memecahkan keheningan ruang bilik mensyuarat tersebut..(laungan cengkerik terdengar sayup2 dibelakang). "Owh, abstract? mungkin saya terlupa, tuanku... Akan saya teliti abstract tuanku sekarang juga," kata gavernor british itu sambil sibuk membelek2 laptop beliau..(eh zaman merong mahawangsa nie dah ada laptop ke? layan je lah)

setelah menjumpai abstract beta yang terselit dicelah2 fail2 penting dalam hard drive beliau, si gavernor mula bercakap lagi, " erm, tuanku, blehkah kiranya tuanku berikan saya timeline untuk project besar tuanku nanti supaya mudah untuk saya menjangka kepadatan peggunaan animal house kita."

Sungguh beta tersentak dengan permintaan si British ini, beberapa minggu yang lalu telah beta suarakan permasalahan timeline ini dan dengan mudahnya kedua penasihat inggeris ini mengatakan bahawa timeline tidak diperlukan buat masa ini kerana project PhD beta pun belum pasti lagi nah, tiba2 mereka umumkan yang mereka mahukan timeline tersebut A.S.A.P...memang dasar Inggeris! Huh, alamatnya bersengkang mata lagilah beta untuk menyiapkan this thing called timeline..." baiklah tuan gavernor dan tuan resident, akan beta usahakan timeline tersebut..." "Owh, kami mahu melihatnya esok, ya, tuanku.." Chet..keluh beta lagi sambil mengangguk..kesekian kalinya seorang bangsawan melayu terpaksa mendengar cakap penasihat britisth tanpa bantahan.

Ngeeee =^.^=

Perasan apartment therapy ke ni? =^.^=

hey! hey! it's exactly 1 month since I moved into this new house. it feels like I have been living here forever and Alhamdulillah, I really love spending every single time in here. I think I am more productive now that I have my own study room. although it is not as perfect as I have imagined it to be, I am still so very extremely happy with it.

Ok, the reason I make this entry is because I have promised certain people (and with that I mean, you Anifah) =^.^=  that I will share snap shots of my new house with them..Sowy lammmmbat sgt kan.. and in return, can you share snapshots of your cutesy new home to me? please, please, please...I have always adore how you designed your room, all in purple and that gorgeous purple draperies...heavenly..I can't wait how beautiful your new home will be now that you are living on your own. mesti lebih banyak purple kan...

The exterior to my house can be found here. But when my families came to visit, sempat jugak berphotographed in the garden in front of my house...

banyak jugak kan gambar depan tumah nie..tapi rumahnyer tak nampak sangat..ader sket2 jer..jadilah kan.tak nak lah clear sgt...nanti datang pula orang yang tak diundang..e.g ceti or bhai roti yg tak dikenali..hehehe...

Ana tak dapat nak ambil gambar byk2 sgt time baru pindah haritu sbb 1) kepenatan yang kesangatan, 2) kekeluargaan kedatangan jadi rumah tak sempat nak disusun, asek jenjalan jer..wahahaha, dan 3) tak ingat pun. pastu tadi hubby cakap syafiq or Dina nak tgk yea..oklah, kak intan letak nie..tapi tu pun tak byk sbb dah malam...dan ader org tu dah lekat depan tgh tengok bola..so gmbr ruang tamu tak amik pun.. gambar bilik study abg long pun tak amik sbb dah malam...lampunya terbakar, tak tukar lagi sbb silingnya tinggi...kalau letak meja then letak lagi kerusi atas meja pun tak sampai lg silingnya yg tinggi tu..huhu.. so beberapa gambar bilik tidur, hallway n bilik study saya sajalah yea...

camtulah gaya bilik tidur utamanya..fire place dah jadik rak buku haha..balkoni pula tak buka sbb dah malam, takut nampak benda2 yang tak sepatutnya nampak..cam nyamuk ke, agas ke..hehe..bila kat rumah, jarang duk dalam bilik nie... semua org (erm, padahal 2 org jer) samada duk kat ruang tamu atau study dalam bilik study..dah malam, nak titun or time nak solat baru masuk bilik nie..yelah kan, bilik tidur adalah untuk tidur...(dan golek2 atas katil main anak patung beruang nama haiykal tu hiks hiks)..kalau ada flat screen tv gantung atas fire place tu cantek gak kan..tapi susahlah saya nak tidor sbb nanti ada org tgk bola smpi pagi..hiks hiks..

tempat jatuh lagi di kenang, inikan pula tempat bergayut di telefon kan..mintak mahap sket, saya tak bergayut dekat kelambu tu ok...bergayut terhad untuk ditelefon sahaja..so hari minggu tu time call malaysia, disinilah tempatnyer...sejuk wooo..takder heater kat sini..

lastly bilik study saya..jadilah kan satu gambar jer. bilik ni ada tingkap tp takder langsir..tak usah bimbang sbb belakang tingkap tu bukan luar rumah pun...tu bilik study my husband..so bila saya dalam bilik nie, dia duk kat bilik dia memerhatikan saya buat kerja ke main facebook..hahaha..mandurlah katakan..dah nama suami kene jaga isterikan, jadi dia jagalah saya baik2..betul tak? Sofa bed tu memang sentiasa memanggil2 saya time study dia suruh Stido... tp penting dia ada kat situ sbb kalau nak study sampai pengsan senang...hikshiks.

ok dah abes..anti klimaks tak entry saya nie? tup2 je abes..gambar2 lain nanti ana haplod ok. kitchen, balcony, lounge, bilik study hubby...erm, bathroom pun nak ke? tayah la kan..hiks hiks

when someone does you a big favour, don’t pay it back, pay it forward.

in one end of this world, you see cruelty, deaths, war and revenge, in another, you see sacrifice, life, peace and love. few months ago, when I was still living in Broadway, I remember watching a movie called P"ay it Forward." Like some other kids, 12-year-old Trevor McKinney believed in the goodness of human nature. Like many other kids, he was determined to change the world for the better. Unlike most other kids, he succeeded. When someone does you a big favour, don't pay it back... Pay It Forward, he said. this 2000 American dramatic movie was based on a book written by Catherine Ryan Hyde of the same name.

I have never done a book or a movie review in this blog before, but today I sort of will. The magnitude of impact this story had on me was magnanimous and it is simply SELFISH of me if I don’t share it with others. Haley Joel Osment who played the 11-year-old Trevor McKinney came out with an idea of using the pyramid scheme of the infamous Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) to instead of generate profit, it generates good will. If a person does a favour for you, you don’t pay it back, you pay it forward to another 3 persons and when these 3 persons pay it forward, they’ll be doing good deeds to another 9 persons all together creating an enormous numbers of people spreading good will out of one act of kindness.

This book and therefore this story is a fiction, but i have also heard a real- life story about how one good deed changes a city in the book “Three cups of tea” written by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.

Greg Mortenson is an American Male nurse who aspired to climb the world’s second highest peak, the mount K2 in Pakistan in memory of his sister Christa who died of a massive seizure  after a lifelong battle with epilepsy. Greg was alone, exhausted and no longer had the will to continue the journey when he was found by the villagers of Korphe, in Northern Pakistan. The village head, Haji Ali and his family nursed Greg back to health. 

When he was healthy, he was able to look at the village and it’s condition. His heart throbbed in pain seeing the village children learning mathematics by scribbling on sand. Their classrooms had no wall, no roof and no teacher. “ a teacher costs 1 dollar a day and that was far too much than what we could afford," claimed Haji Ali. The people of Korphe are poor, 1 in 3 child is destined to not survive infancy and illiteracy is common but they gave everything to save Greg when he was emaciated and was inches from death.  Greg didn’t pay it back, he paid it forward by giving everything he had in America to the point of living on his car to minimise living cost, beg to celebrities for donations, anything you could think of. His effort formed the Central Asia Institute which to date has built more than 50 schools around Pakistan and Afghanistan and the numbers are still counting.

“ The first time you share a tea in Baiti, you are a stranger, the second time you are an honoured guess. The third time you become a family and for our families, we are prepared to do anything, even die,” said the people of Korphe.
The concept of paying a deed forward is noble. Paying it 3 times forward is even nobler. How many times in our lives have we made a conscious effort to help a family, a fellow friend, a fellow colleague or a stranger? And how many of us have made any effort to repay back the good deed done by others let alone paying it 3 times forward.
I am insignificant, I am only one person. I am a woman and my voice is soft. When I stand, I don’t stand tall and when I sit, I am invisible but if one boy can leave a mark in the world and one man can change an entire education system of a country, with Allah’s will, one woman can also leave her marks in this world, one good deed at a time.
“ Pure hearts help willingly, But the purest of pure hearts does not need acknowledgement from the deed they’ve done. And that is the magnificently beautiful teaching of Islam”    

most people who don’t blog do not have that many stories to tell, but if you do blog because it is the only story you have in your life, by all means, stop blogging and start living! =^.^=

Happy Tuesday everyone! I am back to my daily routine before something exciting happens again. The June holiday was a blast (which explains why i didn’t have time to blog, I was busy living my life =^.^=), but as for all things good, this also had to end. It feels so abrupt. Only few days ago I was beaming with the anticipation for my parents, siblings and cousin sisters arrival, today, I am back living my normal life… typing, reading and studying most of the time… and a bit of blogging of course..ahakz.

Now, as a picture editing addict and a sucker for all things pretty and perfect I have of course taken thousands of photos while my family was here. it seems like my likeness of photography only present with the presence of people that I like.. rasanya semua orang pun macam ini, kan.. ( i think everyone is like this, anyway). so i might also put them here rather than letting them go to waste in the hard drive..

    

these pictures were all taken in front of my house, believe it or not.. owh, some of it dekat pasar fresh canning vale as well.. the people in the pictures are Reena, Aween, Nani, Emak, Omar, Fir & Aiman. A gorgeous bunch people. if there are flowers, i will surely have picked them first.. Aween and Nani are my cousin sisters.

Pity Nani, she was actually having a flu… maybe because she missed her mommy so much… well, of course, she’s only 11…who is accustom to be flying halfway around the world without their mommies at this age..salut you Nani!

-Araluen park-

Another gorgeous photography depicting the beautiful autumn weather… Subhanallah… more importantly, I am in some of the pictures..=^.^=

i like my red trench… it matches the browning leaves so perfectly and also gives a great contrast to the green background and i think the first picture with Aiman standing at the river-waterfall is just divine.

i love the picture of Omar & Reena sitting in the middle of the Autumny field. their clothes matched and set a good contrast to the greenery background, they also have this peculiar greening smile that was were just perfect for a postcard picture, don’t you think?

Everyone was busy collecting the maple leaves, but the most gorgeous of the leaves were not maple’s..they are..hurm, i don’t know.. but they are so pretty! well enough with araluen pictures, i will update again with more pictures soon… and maybe some videos as well, InsyaAllah..the video are done, only not uploaded yet je…

the best thing about pictures is, you get to relive the memories again and again and again. till then. wassalam.